Raychel: My Story

I have yet to write my story on my personal blog, I guess to spare my loved ones who do not need to know the details. I feel that I can release a little more on here since I surrounded by women who understand my story and my pain.

Abigayl was taking her afternoon nap and I decided to put in a movie. I knew it was time for her to get up but thought she was sleeping so well that I would let her sleep a little longer. When another 30-45 minutes had passed and she still wasn't up, I knew I needed to wake her if I wanted her to stay on her schedule.

It's kind of weird, I knew the minute I opened her door that something wasn't right. I think it was God's way of preparing me for what was to come.

I went to her crib and the blanket she had slept with since she was born was over her head, which was normal for her. When I pulled back her blankie there was blood in her crib. I picked her up and immediately called 911. The dispatcher walked me through CPR and I spent what felt like eternity doing CPR on Abigayl until the Fire/Ambulance got there. I knew that what I was doing wasn't going to help. I just knew. It was hard to continue on knowing that no matter what, I couldn't bring my baby back to me.

One of the fireman called Rusty and told him he needed to come home quickly. I'm so thankful that he was working in our area that day. Not only was he able to make it home swiftly but he was also able to come home on his lunch hour and play with Abigayl.

From the moment Rusty walked through the door he comforted me and never once blamed me. I'm so thankful that he never saw it as my fault. I'm blessed with a very loving husband.

At the hospital, I had to give my statement to an officer. While telling him what happened, I told him that I wished I would have had one of my neighbors get the bedding out for me. I knew that it would be hard to go back in her room later to her sheets. That very nice, amazing officer not only went back and took the bedding for me but he also showed up to Abigayl's service.

I'm so thankful that I had the support from all over to help me muddle my way through life during the days, weeks and months to follow. The main thing for me was leaning on my faith and placing my sorrow in the hands of God. I also leaned on Rusty because he was the only one who knew the loss I was going through.

I look forward to sharing more of my journey with all the moms out there who are sadly on the same journey and long road that I'm on. Together we can make it.

Vintage City Mom

I found some photos of my twin brother and I when we were just little babes! I'm taking you back people. Back to when City Mom's life was easy-peasy, her hair was blond, and all she cared about in the world were Lisa Frank Stickers, Hello Kitty Stationary, Freezer Pops, Capri Suns and Ramen Noodles (For the record, I still care about the Ramen Noodles. I'm pretty sure they eat those in Heaven).

Enjoy!

Hanging on our Grandma and Grandpa's deck in Rockland County, NY during a family soft ball game. My Mom dressed us so cute. :)


I'm pretty sure this one was taken on one of our Birthdays... 4, maybe 5? I remember that we both got big wheels from our Aunt Billie and as far as young kid life goes, this qualified as THE BEST DAY EVER.

Back in the day at Seashore State Park I believe. That's my Aunt there in the back - the one who got us the Big Wheels. I LOVE YOU AUNT BILLIE - :)


School photo, back before they brought in the lasers
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

A) My sweater is awesome, but I should have been wearing THIS ONE that my Nana bought me (and for the curious, my brother got MC Hammer).

B) FRECKLES!!!!!! Believe it or not, I no longer have them.
Who knew you could outgrow freckles?

City Mom..

Hello, internet! My name is Wendi and I am an absolute city girl at heart. I thrive off of the simple and smallest things in life; local book stores, warm hugs, city park benches for sitting, green grass for picnics, reading, snuggling, babies!, iced caramel macchiatos, DIY projects, crafty things, and mid-century furniture collecting... I could go on and on... but, even more important than all of those things put together, the very core of my being, is my family. My husband and I met in high school. After 7 beautiful years together, and on a warm summer day, we gave birth to a beautiful little boy named Ethan. Words could never express how seeing that little guy for the first time made us feel - instantly our world was a little brighter, our purpose a little clearer, and our hearts...how they began to overflow with such a love that we had never felt before. Although we did not know it at the time, our little Ethan would only be with us for a short while. At exactly 3 months and 15 days old, he passed away in his sleep, suddenly and unexpectedly. To us and his doctors, he was a normal, happy and healthy baby; but in what felt like a mere blink of an eye, he was gone from us. Losing him was beyond devastating and the grief that followed was something that life could have never prepared us for. We also went on to try again, and two and a half years later, we gave birth to baby boy #2 -- Quinn! At now 8 months old, he is definitely keeping us busy in the most wonderful of ways. As Carrie mentioned, having Quinn in our arms certainly has helped to fill some of the emptiness in our arms from losing Ethan, but truth be told, you can never replace a child that has been lost. Having others who understand what you are going through, all while providing a positive influence, is so very important. Carrie has been that person for me, and I don't know what I would do without her. --- Well, that is me in a nutshell - just a simple twenty-something girl, meeting life's challenges one by one, all while trying her darnedest to come out on the other end a better, wiser person.

Country Mom..

Where should I start? Well, I was actually an Eastern girl myself until about age 14 when my parents moved us to the Midwest. I met my husband, Josh, in high school. We started dating the summer before our senior year. After nearly 4 years of marriage we had baby #1, a spunky, strong willed little girl named Madelyn. 2 1/2 years later we had a tiny little baby girl who was calm & quiet, her name was Lila Grace. Lila faced many challenges, but all were fixable- like cleft palate, hearing loss in her right ear, etc… but other than that she was a beautiful, special little girl who would smile and melt your heart.. She passed away in 2008. We were never given a sure answer- they jumped from SIDS to pneumonia and back several times. Our pedi. informed us that sometimes there is just no way of knowing. Our hearts were broken, and that right there is an understatement, but there’s really no accurate way to describe with words how utterly helpless you feel when you lose your baby. She was less than a week away from being 3 months old. We went on to try again at building our family and were blessed with baby #3 in 2009... He was our first boy, we named him Jude. He helped heal our hearts and ease the pain of the loss. You can definitely never replace that little one you lost, but you can keep pushing forward in life and make every day count. If you’ve personally suffered from the loss of a child, I have to tell you- having a friend who knows how it feels is one of the main components of healing. It’s comforting to know that you can talk to some who “gets it” because they’ve been there themselves.
And well, in a nut shell, that’s a little about me and my Midwestern family…..so far.. I’m sure there’s more to come. Oh, and I'm a stay at home mom, I've tried working from home and working outside the home, but I don't like being away from my kiddos... so I've got lots of blogging, shopping and crafting time on my hands. That's all for now..