Every year, as hard as it can be, we head out to Abigayl's spot to decorate for Christmas. The bright spot in the painful event was having the "help" of Rowynn this year.
Every year it hits that I have to come to a cemetery to decorate for my daughter. I am 28 years old and this is the third Christmas we have spent decorating her spot. Though the pain doesn't hit as often as it used to, every year when we go and decorate it is so painful. I never want that pain to stop me though. I find it so important to let her have her own Christmas decorations. Though it hurts, it still brings me joy that there is something small I can still do for her on the earth even though she can't be here with us.
One of my favorite things about taking Rowynn to visit Abigayl is the moments when he gets down and touches her plaque. I just wonder if he recognizes her face from all of the pictures we have around the house. My hope is that even though he never got to meet his big sister, he will always hold a special place in his heart for her. That he will always feel a connection. I just hope I can help him feel that bond.
On a much lighter note, Rusty and I are EXPECTING!! Yes, you read correctly. Even though we have a 10 month old we are gearing up for a new addition come July 5, 2011. As of right now I am 10 weeks. I'm ready for the first trimester exhaustion to subside so I can have the energy my son demands! We are really praying for a girl this time around. I know God will do what is best for us so I'm hoping that what is best is a little girl!