December 27, 2010

A Merry Christmas

Hey there, long time no blog, I know.. In case you forgot who I am, allow me to reintroduce myself, I am Lila's Momma (Carrie). Sometimes this blog is a struggle for me. Blogging on it can bring me back to the past, a place I wish not to dwell, but at the same time I know there are other Mommas out there struggling at this very moment with wounds that are so much like my own that I want to be there for them, even if it does feel painful to come here sometimes. I remember surfing the Internet after her passing, searching for another human who had some inkling of what I was going through, someone to connect with. And that is what keeps me coming back here- even if it's not very often.

We had a Merry Christmas at our house, (despite the passing around of the stomach flu). One of the best little moments was seeing Jude (our little 18 monther) walk into the living room with Lila's blanket (the one we'd given her on her first and only Christmas with us) He plopped down on the floor and began rubbing his nose with her blankey (this is a habit he has that he comforts himself with) and just the fact that it was her blanket was enough to warm up my heart and make me feel closer to her. She is still with us in our hearts even though she's in the arms of Jesus.

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