At the beginning of this month we decided to take Rowynn on his last family trip that would be just the three of us. I know he is young, 14 months, but we thought it would be good for him to get to have a new experience before his baby brother arrives.
For our family trip, we headed to San Antonio to let him experience Sea World. We chose Sea World because he loves animals but we also chose Sea World because it is a special place for us. It is a place where we were able to find our smiles and connect after we experienced the biggest tragedy of our lives.
A couple of days after Abigayl's funeral, we decided that it would be best to get out of town for a few days. We didn't have a lot of money so we needed somewhere that was within driving distance. We had not been to Sea World and we knew we could make the drive in one day. It was a perfect fit.
While in San Antonio/Sea World, we were able to genuinely smile. We allowed ourselves to have fun but we also felt sad that Abigayl couldn't be there to see all the pretty animals. I think the best part of the trip was that it allowed Rusty and I a few days away from family, friends and the constant reminders of our sweet little girl. It gave us those few days to connect and talk. It is hard not to talk during a 12 hour car ride!
The point in all of this, take time together. You and your spouse need time to connect. Marriage is a fragile thing and the passing of a child can drive a deep wedge. The advice we got from the doctor at the hospital where Abigayl was taken has stuck with me, he said, "Lean on each other because it is so important that you do that now. Don't point blame. There is nothing that could have been done." I am blessed because since moment one when Rusty walked through our front door and saw the paramedics working on Abigayl, I told him I was so sorry and he told me that it wasn't my fault. He has never pointed blame at me, even when I blamed myself.