I just got off the phone with the floral department at the cemetery where our beautiful Abigayl has her spot. With the distraction of Rowynn, I don't cry as often as I used to. Especially now that my days are filled with feedings, diaper changes, LOTS of laundry, play time and following around a crawling seven month old.
But, days like today where I called to order flowers for Abi's vase, hit home the fact that I have a child in heaven. It is heart wrenching when I actually stop and take in the fact that Abigayl was here on this earth and not just a beautiful dream. I really did hold her in my arms, hear her giggle and enjoy so many wonderful days with her.
We are coming up on the anniversary of her two year angel day and it gets harder and harder as the day fast approaches. I keep trying to push it back so that I can get through all of my daily activities but when I ordered those flowers, it hit me like a tidal wave.
Though time makes it easier to get through the daily routine, our hearts forever miss our little angels and some days are harder than others.
Today, I am having one of those days.
I miss Abigayl every single day and think about her all the time. But I feel the pain on days like today when my focus is on a specific task for her.