(If I die young, bury me in satin- lay me down on a bed of roses- sink me in the river at dawn- send me away with the words of a love song- Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother- she'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors - and life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no, ain't even grey, but she buries her baby. The sharp knife of a short life, well, I've had just enough time- Go with peace and love- gather up your tears and keep em in your pocket- save them for a time when you're really gonna need them.)
I went home- finished my day as usual, then after everyone was in bed I brought out the videos. I watched Lila smile and coo at me on camera, and I let myself feel the pain I put away the other 300 and some days of the year. And it was good for my heart. Then I begged God on my knees in prayer to take this heavy burden of pain- to ease the sorrow of my aching momma heart.
And you know what? Today was a better day.
Everything's gonna be okay.
if you haven't met our baby Lila yet, you can visit her memorial page over HERE.