I felt compelled to write this post after two awkward introductions this weekend. No offense to those who introduce me, but well, please remember- I have three kids. Not two. One may be in Heaven, but she's still my daughter. I'm still her momma. That.Will.Never.Change.
It always goes down the same basic way, "Hello So-and-so- this is Carrie, and this is little Jude and she also has a daughter named Maddie." Then the speaker turns to me and gives me an awkward look like- do I say it? Do I say you had another? Sure, yes! It doesn't hurt me when you say it, it hurts me when you don't. Am I rehashing this too much ? Perhaps, but - if others have walked a mile in my shoes they probably feel the same way. I birthed her, loved her, knew her better than any other human on Earth could have known her, and committed her forever to the depths of my heart as one of my very own children. There's no forgetting that, no pretending it didn't happen- and why would i want to?!
Lila Grace at 1 hour old. Staring into those sweet eyes, not knowing she wouldn't be here long.
I celebrate this blessing of a child, she wasn't here with us for very long (just 3 months), but she is part of our family, our hearts, and one day when we die, we've been told we'll be reunited with her. God gave me that promise, and I'm banking on it. So, in short, I just wanted to say: Hello, my name is Carrie, and I have three children.