March 15, 2010

Country Mom: Kiddo Pics.

My last post carried a lot of weight, so I thought I'd lighten the mood with some pics.

We had a TEETHING.SCREAMING.CRYING jag over the weekend so kiddos were loaded up and taken for a nice long country drive-- and this is the result. Hallelujah. Peace at Last! The glorious view from the driver's seat. He's normally smiley, happy and sweet 24/7, but teething brings chaos. I am having flash backs to four years ago when Maddie was teething. IT.WAS.AWFUL. My kids get teeth here and there, they drag it out. If only they could come in quickly and in groups. Wishful thinking,eh? We stopped for a minute to get out after Mr.Screamer-pants was asleep. Maddie wanted to sit by this angel and "hug" it. She asked me if that's what Lila looks like now. What a conversation that turned into. Nothing like theology discussions with a 4yr old. I explained that though we call Lila an "angel"- angels and humans were different from the start and humans don't turn into angels, but we like to think of them that way. You know what her response was? "WHY?" Go figure. She's a typical four year old when it comes to using that word repetitively.
Morning from the nursery window. Jude's room has the best view. I love the fog, the morning sun, and the reflection off the flooded field.

Hanging out on Mom & Dad's bed, he's so into exploring now. I'm terrified of all the bumps and bruises that little boys bring. But I sure am excited to see him learn and grow.

This was a tough weekend for me, I have not shared so much about my pain and grief before and this blog is bringing everything to the surface. I'm hoping that it's all part of the healing process. Even after two years, my heart still aches, but it really does get better. We all have our days. For now I'm gonna just keep pushing forward and trying to see the sunny side of everything. I want more than anything to help other moms, to be a confidant, a comfort, a friend... baring my soul online is hugely difficult at times, but I know the end result will be worth the rehashing of pain. ((hugs)) to everyone who's sticking with us, sharing our link, crying with us, following us, and supporting us through and through. We love you, guys!


  1. adorable photos! I hope you have a good week :)!

  2. It's been almost 19 years since I lost my son to sids I wish there would have been forums like this back then. Don't be hard on yourself..after all you never get over it just learn to live with it.

  3. Carrie,

    You have such beautiful children (all three of them!)

    Having never experienced such a loss myself, I don't have any words of advice for how to get through it all, but I just wanted to say that I think it is so wonderful that you've taken such a tragic loss and tried to do something positive with it, by starting this blog and helping other women who are going through the same thing.

    I know your little Lila is so proud of her Mommy, and please know that there are people out there in blogland amazed by your courage and strength.

    Huge *hugs* your way!